


In the light of Kingdom Hearts

by Tevinter_Mage



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Drama, Fluff, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2020-11-27 18:22:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 8,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20952875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tevinter_Mage/pseuds/Tevinter_Mage
Summary: I´m challenging myself with an 100 drabble challenge and themed it for XemSai, since it´s kinda my guilty pleasure at the moment. I´ll always give you the drabble word in the headline. The sength is about one page each chapter, so it's actually not really a drabble but who cares :)All of the drabbles use one of the following three settings.1) Before the final of Kingdom Hearts II2) Before the final of Kingdom Hearts III3) After Kingdom Hearts IIIBe careful, I´m going to use a lot of headcanons here. If you don´t like that please don´t read.I´ve already started the challenge in my native language and I´m continuing as I translate the chapters into english so please be aware there might be a strange sentence building or weird grammar due to translation.Have fun either way!Kingdom Hearts belongs to Square Enix!





	1. 1. Beauty

In the world that never was, the heaven was illuminated by the mysterious light of Kingdom Hearts. An anxious dull light which not only fitted perfectly into this dreary and abandoned place, but also had this strange and otherworldly beauty. Xemnas couldn´t get enough of this view as it showed the progress they made in their work. There was only one person with a more intimate bond to Kingdom Hearts than his. 

Xemnas freed himself of Kingdom Hearts influence and instead he started to watch the sleeping nobody on his bed. Saix had a special connection to the light of Kingdom Hearts as he had to any kind of moon. It was the source of his power as a berserker. A mystery even Xemnas‘ curiosity hadn´t been able to lift until now. It was even more fascinating that Saix usual character was pretty much the opposite of his berserker personality. Usually he was quiet and strategic, but all of his thoughtfulness vainshed once he tripped over into the berserker mode. 

At the moment his sight would´ve convinced no one that he was able to even lift his heavy claymore, yet fight with it. In his sleep he was all relaxed and Xemnas had noticed long ago, that Saix was smaller and slimmer than his power implied. If he wore his coat or not and Xemnas liked that with no doubt. 

One could call Saix handsome. The way his pale skin was illuminated by the light of Kingdom Hearts. Flawless, except for the X-shaped scar on his face. But even that flaw wasn´t a flaw so much. The thin lines gave a certain uniqueness to the beautiful face and the way Saix used to wear his hair made it even more visible. His long silky hair was another attribute that deserved the term ‘beautiful’. The straight strands of hair fell down to his waist and the soft blue made a wonderful contrast to the pale skin and the white sheets.  
Saix was all over perfect. Not only his body and face, but also the fact that he followed every order Xemnas gave to him and accomplished an astonishing accuracy. No matter if it was his missions, the management of the other members’ missions or the private missions he got from time to time. Missions, a smirk formed on his face as he thought of that term. Saix liked to use it. It gave him the possibility to keep a distance to what happened once they were alone. Xemnas knew that Saix was lying to himself for quite a while now. But he didn´t bother to clear that up. It was enough that he knew it himself. 

With a satisfied look he went back to his bed and sat down. It was time to wake up Saix. This night was not yet over and he wouldn´t allow Saix to sleep through the whole night. Just as he was about to shake his shoulder to wake him up, Saix made a small movement, showing that he was already in progress of waking up. Xemnas carefully watched as the thick eyelashes opened and the yellow eyes showed themselves. Orange eyes met yellow once and in an instant Saix seemed to be awake. 

Xemnas was sure at one thing. In his eyes Saix was a true beauty.


	2. 2. Love

Saix watched his mirror image. A pair of blue eyes looked back at him. Not yellow, but blue. Also his ears had returned to their usual round form and he was feeling weird. He was feeling. He still wasn´t used to that and he slowly lifted his hand to his chest. He could feel his heartbeat and tried to convince himself that this was real. He was a human again. Not a nobody anymore. 

It took him a lot of determination to turn his glance away. He had been a nobody for so many years, it seemed like a whole life. It was unrealistic. And he was sure that he had died in that battle. He still remembered Axels sad face. Axel … he had also returned after he had die das a nobody. Maybe this was the usal way? In that case all of the others must have returned as well. His heart skipped a beat. Was it possible that Xemnas had also returned? Was it foolish to even think about that? And if he returned was it even possible for him to return as a human?

Saix had died to fulfil Master Xehanorts masterplan. It had been their destiny to die and he had known that. After their first defeat Saix had the choice to return as a human or return as a nobody. He had decided his path to return to the organization, return to Xemnas. Even though he had to learn that Xemnas was no more the ‚Superior‘, but the second in command. He didn´t care. Xemnas continued to give special missions to him and treated him as his second in command. But now he was gone and Saix wasn´t sure if e would ever meet him again. At least he was sure that Xemnas hadn´t returned in Radiant Garden. But it was the same with Marluxia and Larxene, Luxord and Demyx. All of them were missed. And Saix was sure he already had heard if Xemnas had returned in Radiant Garden. But no one had spoken of Xemnas in his presence. Saix wasn´t even sure if the others tried to avoid talking about the superior to him. 

Saix didn´t know why, but he couldn´t get the Superior out of his head. Every day and at every occasion Xemnas sneaked into his mind. Even without being here. What would he think about Saix transformation? Would he like his blue eyes? Would he treat him differently? Maybe he wouldn´t even care? Saix shook his head and tried to get those thoughts out of his head. It wouldn´t get him anywhere to think about this and why would he even care? Actually he should be happy that everything was in his past and he had the chance to start a new life. Everyone had forgiven him and his life in Radiant Garden was similar to a state, where he had never been a nobody. But he wasn´t satisfied: His thoughts were all about Xemnas and he couldn´t forget what had been between him. If Xemnas existed, wherever he was, Saix had to find him. He had to know if Xemnas was able to feel and if he had a heart. If he was able to love and if he could love him. 

Maybe this was what made him uneasy, what prohibited him from enjoying his new life. Maybe there was something left connecting him to Xemnas. Maybe love?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second one just following up!  
I´d really like to hear your thougts.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	3. 3. Dream

Pure white curtains waving in the soft breeze, the smell of salty sea water in the air and the warm sun shining down. Has he ever been to the beach? He couldn´t remember and as he watched the thin white fabric, he was almost convinced that it was floatin in the air. At the moment it didn´t feel strange that he couldn´t remember coming to this place. So, why was he here? Did someone bring him or did he come here himself? He was almost certain that he didn’t come here by his own accord. But then again, why was he here?

“Saix.” A well-known voice catched his attention and he stopped watching the curtains and instead got up slightly. Next to him, in a bed of soft pillows and blankets, was Xemnas. Perfectly relaxed, wearing some plain black swimming shorts and a casual black shirt. He hadn´t closed the buttons of his shirt which allowed Saix to see the well trained chest. 

“Saix.” Again that voice, tearing him out of his daydreams. It was not like him, being distracted that easily. When has this started? At the moment it felt like his whole head was stuffed with cotton and it was hard to even get a straight thought. Was it the soft breeze? No, probably it was Xemnas. All oft he thoughts in his head were about him. So, probably it was Xemnas fault. 

„Saix. You felt asleep again.“ Did he? It was probably true.   
„Superior.“ Saix mumbled, but Xemnas wouldn´t give him more time to speak. Instead Saix realized the others lips on his own, silencing him in the progress. Saix sighed softly, he lifted his hand and caressed the others shoulder until his hand wandered into the others neck as he replied the kiss. All of these kisses were perfect and he didn´t even want to think about stopping. Saix hands wandered into the thick silver hair as his kisses got more demanding. He wouldn´t give in that easily. Instead he used his grip on Xemnas to pull him closer, intensifying the kiss even more. His almost rude behaviour made Xemnas sighing as he got more offensive himself. His hands wandering over Saix’ sides, his waist, his hip, his legs. 

Saix gave a satisfied noise and closed his eyes, clearly enjoying his time. As he opened his eyes he noticed that his surrounding had changed. Xemnas was still leaning over him, but he had stopped kissing him and instead watched him attentively. A smirk on his face. Saix blinked as he realized that he was no longer at the beach, but that his surrounding was in twilight. He was in the world that never was and apparently he fell asleep on Xemnas bed. If he had feelings, Saix was sure he had been ashamed. But then again he was pretty much confused at the moment. Had it been a dream? But Nobodies weren´t able to dream. They lost that ability at the same time they had lost their feeling.

“This is interesting, Saix.” Xemnas seemed amused. It was probably better than being angry. „It seems like you are able to dream, Saix. Was this your first time? Or did you hide that on purpose?“

„I…“ Saix started carefully, still irritated by the events. He stopped talking to think about it for a moment. “Superior, this is impossible. A nobody is not able to dream.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These are more difficult than I thought at first.  
3/100 done though!


	4. 4. Certainty

Saix wasn´t feeling too well. He would´ve never thought about returning into this world, but at the same time he was afraid to look back. Axel was waiting for him … no, Lea was the name. He had been the one to get him into this world, with his power as keyblade wielder. It had been stressful to convince him, but at last he promised to help. As Saix looked around he noticed that the world was even darker than before. The twilight of Kingdom Hearts was gone and now that world was drenched in darkness. 

“You okay, Isa?” It was Leas voice.  
„Yes, I´ll be right back.“ A short nod. Isa. After that many years it was weird to hear his true name, it felt strange, almost wrong.   
“Hey Isa,” Saix didn´t turn around. „Be careful. Whatever might happen.“  
Saix wouldn´t give him an answer as he walked over tot he castle that never was.

It was as if he came home and yet it was strange. He could hear his own steps as he walked through empty corridors and lonely halls. Even though it was all dark now, that wasn´t to unusual. At their end there had been only few of them left and meeting unintentionally had become rather rare. But nothing in these halls seemed as if someone was living here but he couldn´t stop. He walked past his old room, but he didn’t dare to look into the room. Instead his feet led his way to a larger door, which led to Xemnas rooms. Was it okay to walk in? He took a deep breeze then he opened the door slowly. It was dark inside and even though he wasn´t used to the room in darkness, he had already knew that. He carefully walked in and looked around more attentively. It was hard to see anything in this absolute darkness. 

“Saix?” A weak, almost unreal voice. Saix took a moment to realize who was speaking and where that person was located.   
“Xemnas.” He whispered, then he walked over to the other man. “You are really here.”  
But Xemnas seemed to look through him.   
„You are coming here so often, Saix. I know it´s not real … yet.” A bitter smile. „There would be no reason for you to return to this place. Not after … everything I´ve done … to you.”  
“But … I am here Xemnas. I am really here.“ Saix didn´t even notice that his voice started to tremble as he stepped in front oft he other man. 

Xemnas lifted his hand and carefully caressed Saix cheek. There was warmth. The touch was real. Both of them were here for real. As humans, no longer nobodies. Not emptiness. Even though they had died on the keyblade graveyard. Or maybe because they died there? Maybe they could try to have a normal life. A relationship with feelings.   
“But why are you here? And … why?” Xemnas asked unbelieving.  
„Lea brought me here,“ Saix carefully explained, „and … I needed certainty.“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> I hope you can enjoy. This is pretty much my own wishes. Don´t bother!  
4/100 done!


	5. 5. Memory

Xemnas gave a soft moan, as his partners fierce hands wandered over his shoulders. At the same time his hands were roaming over the naked body underneath him. It was astonishing how much Saix forget himself, once he called him here. One could think that he really had feelings once they made love. But that was the core of their project. 

The project had multiple different steps.   
At first he had tested how far Saix would go in his apparently unconditional loyality. If he was ready to bow his head and accept everything or if he would refuse. He had bend to his will without complaining, he didn´t even ask about his intention. Not even as Xemnas had ordered him to wait in his room and once they were done had sent him back to his work. It was almost disappointing.   
Xemnas could´ve stopped at that point. Saix would´ve kept silent about their experiment and noone would´ve ever talked about that again. But Xemnas had been curious for too long. About Nobodies and their lack of emotion. Was it really impossible? So this had been his chance to take a deeper look into this matter and he had made use of it. Every day he had studied his subordinates face and his usual behaviour. He started to treat him in different ways, giving him praise or bulling him. All in the attention of getting some kind of reaction in return. Until that day he hadn´t been that successful. Saix had showed some unusal behaviour, but nothing in his notes was a real proof of emotion. The behaviour could be sourced in Saix memories of emotion. Even though he was a nobodies now, Saix had been a human and the memories of that time with emotion still remained in him. Maybe it was his psyche telling him he should feel something. In that case it wasn´t true after all. Until today Xemnas was still unsure, it was possible that Saix tried to trick him or Saix tricked himself. He would find out the truth. They still had time. 

Xemnas grapped the slender legs wrapped around his waist. Saix moaned in return, his hands tangled into the silver hair. It was a nice feeling once they became one and Saix seemed to enjoy this to the fullest. He gave another pleasured moan as Xemnas moved faster. He leaned back his head and Xemnas tried to remember every bit of his current facial expression. Was it a reflection of his feeling? Or had it no meaning at all? How much could someone be influenced by that intimity?

“Xemnas.” Saix moaned his name almost gently. His grip getting tighter. It was obvious that he was coming closer to his limit.   
“Good, Saix.” Xemnas mumbled in return. Pleased be that developement. „Let go.“  
And as usal Saix obediently followed his order. He let go and for a moment Xemnas could feel some kind of satisfaction as he reached his climax.   
Saix was breathing heavily and unsteady and Xemnas couldn´t resist. He claimed the others lips for himself. An almost possessive gesture. Maybe, yes maybe, he liked this. He liked that feeling of power and dominance he had over his second-in-command. Saix was made for this.   
Xemnas took a moment until he separated himself from his partner and lied down on the bed next to him. In this instance he could almost feel satisfaction. Even though he was sure that this was no true. He wasn´t able to feel anything, it was impossible. He knew that. But even if it was no feeling, could it be some kind of memory?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is number 5. There are only 95 left. Haha. 
> 
> Which one do you like the best so far?


	6. 6. Fragile

Saix searched for support. He was exhausted. He was injured. If the pain hadn´t felt that real, he would´ve tried to deny it. Everything had started with his usual work. He got the new missions from Xemnas, sorted them out and assigned them to the members of the organization. In his doing he had realized that one of the missions had been assigned to him. It was a surprise, as he hand´t been out for normal missions for a while now. He had done his administrative tasks, like giving out missions and checking the results as well as presenting them to Xemnas. And he had done lots of stuff the fulfil the personal wishes of his superior. There had been no spare time for world traveling. Xemnas was enough to keep him occupied all day. But even though it was a surprise, he hadn´t complained about it. Once he had finished his duty and handed out the missions to the other members of organization XIII , he had left himself. 

His target was a strong heartless, which Xemnas wanted to disappear. Ansems heartless could be a problem, if they got too strong. Therefore this kind of mission was neccessary from time to time. It was a certain kind of responsibility Xemnas had given to him and he was determined to fulfill it. 

Sadly this mission had developed unlike he though in his plan. Saix had been able to reach the world inconspiously and he made his way to the hearless without problems. He had started the fight with the thought of getting this over quickly, but he had underestimated them. His enemy hadn´t been alone as the mission said, instead there had been several powerful heartless, ready to smash him. He had beaten them, as planned, but the price had been heavy. He had to use his berserker mode and at the end this had used up a lot of energy. It wasn´t suprising that Saix hadn´t been able to dodge all of the strikes. But the injuries were the smaller problem. His berserker mode had burned him out from the inside. Plus, in this world it was bright day and there was no moon to be seen anywhere. No source of new energy he could take in. He needed to go back to the world that never was. The light of Kingdom Hearts was the most sufficient source of power. 

His Claymore vanished and even though he was exhausted Saix made a portal through which he was able to go back. It was silent, everything was empty and from the first moment Saix noticed the moonlight. His feet found their way up to the top of the tower where the light was the brightest.

His exhaustion made his senses clouded and for a moment he regretted not going to his room to lie down in his bed.   
“Saix, so you are back.”   
It was Xemnas voice and Saix tried to mobilize the remaining energy, but it was useless.  
“The mission … was a success, Superior.” He mumbled more than speaking.   
“Perfect.” Xemnas reply was a simple one as he came closer. „You should get some rest, Saix.“  
„Yes, Superior.“   
Saix could hear his own words, but at the same time his whole mind went blank.

Xemnas catched him in the fall and a slight smile was on his lips.   
“Fascinating. I thought it was impossible to fulfill this mission for you, Saix. But you´ve done it and now look at you. Almost looking fragile.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Four topics left until I reach 10%!


	7. 7. Celebration

It was evening, though it was hard to tell the daytime in the world that never was. Because it was neither bright nor dark. The world was in eternal twilight. Thought the nobodies were able to tell if it was day or night. 

Saix watched the sky. Kingdom Hearts was growing every day and its light was growing stronger. From his Superiors rooms one had the best view in the whole castle. Xemnas had ordered him here once he brought him the daily missions and reported about everything new. Saix knew why but he didn´t care. For the moment he had to wait. 

„A nice view, isn´t it?“ The voice was close to his ear and even though Saix hadn´t heard him coming, he didn´t even shrug. Instead he didn´t care at all and he didn´t turn around to face his superior. Not even as said man pushed closer and his hands brushed over Saix waist.   
“Let´s go to bed, Saix.” Whispered Xemnas into his ear. Then he slightly bit into the earlobe. He was obviously turned on. 

Saix obeyed without complain. Let himself being led to the bedroom, loosing all of his and his superiors clothing on the way. Saix sat down onto the bed without a word and didn´t bother as Xemnas brocuht him onto his knees and pushed his upper body onto the bed to bring him into a nice position. Saix was used to this and he didn´t feel awkward about this. Even though his body was presented perfectly to his superior. Instead he felt anticipation as he got into a more comfortable position. Xemnas leaned over him, pressed himself onto his bad and placed almost gentle kisses on his shoulders and his back. He didn´t need any words to tell that Xemnas was clearly aroused. Cold fingers brushed against Saix lips and he knew what to do, put them into his mouth, slightly sucking and covering them in saliva. Meanwhile Xemnas kisses had wandered higher. Kissing his neck and his ears. 

“That should be enough.” Xemnas mumbled as he withdraw his fingers and let them slip against the others legs instead.   
A soft sigh came out of Saix mouth as the first finger was shoved inside. Xemnas was almost gentle in his moves. Slow and steady, giving him the opportuity to relax. Then he added a second finger and his moves changed. A third as Xemnas tried to get him wider. Finally he pulled them back.

Saix searched for support. His hands clawing into the pillows as Xemnas positioned himself, holding his hip in a steady grip and entered slowly. A soft sigh out of Xemnas mouth, a satisfied moan out of Saix as they became one. At first the moves were slow and steady but intensive nonetheless. With every move he pushed deeper and passionate moans filled the air. They slowly came closer to the edge.

“Xemnas, …” Saix moaned as he noticed that he wouldn´t last for longer.   
„Just a little bit more, Saix.“ Xemnas replied and tried to move even deeper and faster until he reached his climax. At the same time Saix could let go and moaned one last time.   
Both of them breezing heavily as Xemnas pulled back and lied down next to his lover.  
“We are drawing closer to the end, Saix. Soon Kingdom Hearts will be completed. A perfect time for a celebration.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next one is "Secret" so are you curious what it will be about? 
> 
> Thanks for your kudos and comments! That´s an inspiraton for me and makes it easier to continue.  
Keep going <3


	8. 8. Secret

Saix walked through the abandoned halls of the castle that never was. It felt like those times in the past, when he lived here, were in another life. Though that might be correct, since he had died. The keyblade wielder had put an end to his life before they had been able to complete Kingdom Hearts. They had failed. Even the superior had failed and perished as well. But even though Saix was determined. He returned to this place and he knew what his plan for the future was. He was an appointment.

A small smile found a way on his face, as he could see the person he wanted to meet and as he arrived at that place he slightly bowed his head.   
“Superior.” He said plainly as there were no more words needed.   
„Saix. I knew you would return.“ Xemnas lifted his hand to the others cheek and slowly caressed the skin.   
“I´d return any time, Superior” Saix replied and without even noticing he nuzzled his face into the others touch.   
“And that´s what makes you special.” Xemnas long fingers found their way from the cheek into the others hair. “But do you know, what it means to come back?“  
“I know.” Saix replied. He didn´t actually care about the consequences. Even if he had to give himself to the darkness. He knew exactly why he came back to Xemnas and it wasn´t about power or revanche.   
“You always wanted your heart back. Why did you change your mind, Saix?“  
Saix hesitated for a moment. „There are times when a heart alone doesn´t matter.“   
The fingers tangled into his hair and made it difficult for Saix to follow. He had unconsciously closed his eyes. He enjoyed the touch and he didn´t even open his eyes as Xemnas leaned closer. With one hand he held his head in place, while he nuzzled his face into Saix neck on the other side. Kissing his neck and ear while his free hand was brushing over the others waist, holding him close.   
“Saix.” Xemnas whispered into his ear and slightly bit into the earlobe, “would you mind to tell me why you really returned?“  
Saix gave a soft sigh.   
“I …” He mumbled while he had a hard time to focus on finding the right words. He could feel Xemnas breath at his neck and leaned his head to the side to give him more space. Though he forgot to continue his reply. Instead he gave another soft sigh and his hands found their way onto Xemnas arms, searching for support.   
“You?” Xemnas finally asked and got Saix back to reality.   
„I … wanted to be with you.“ Saix finally admitted.   
Another intensive kiss onto his neck, before Xemnas placed a kiss on his ear.   
“What would you do to stay?” He asked quietly.   
„I´d do everything.“ Saix whispered and he knew it was the truth.   
For a moment Xemnas stayed silent, pulling away from Saix neck to watch his face instead.   
“Even if you had to die another time? This time … without return?“   
Saix opened his eyes, he seemed determined.   
„Even if I´d loose my whole existence.“   
Xemnas watched him for a few more seconds, then he leaned closer and gave him an almost soft kiss. As if he was sealing a pact. Finally Saix gave in and told him his last secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another one!  
Next one is "promise"!
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	9. 9. Promise

They silently walked through the streets of radiant garden and finally entered one of the rather plain and simple houses. Once inside they walked up the stairs and Saix had to unlock a door und invited Xemnas to go in first. Xemnas walked in without speaking and the other followed, closing the door behind them. The superior looked around, he was inside of a living room. Not to large, but with enough space for two people. Three doors led to other rooms and Xemnas was able to detect a small kitchen and what seemed to be the bedroom. The third door, even though it was closed, seemed to lead to the bathroom. 

“It´s not as luxurious as you are used to but … I guess it´s okay?“ Saix finally said and at least now it was sure that this was Saix home.   
Xemnas watched him for a moment, in thought.   
„Are you sure I should be here?“ He then asked and his voice was somewhat bitter.  
But Saix didn’t seem to care. “Where else would you be? I searched for you and I found you and if you decided to leave now, I´d be rather hurt.”  
Now Xemnas took another minute to look through the room. “After all I´ve done?“  
He noticed Saix reaching for his and he let him take it.   
“You are a different person now. You have a heart.”  
“What makes you so sure that I´ve changed?“ Xemnas grip got tighter. “Maybe I´ll be as cold as I was in the past? Maybe it was never because I lacked a heart? Saix…“ He noticed his mistake and corrected himself, „Isa. I am sure you will regret it.”  
Saix lifted his hand and touched Xemnas cheek, slowly turning his head to face him.  
“I will not regret it. And I won´t regret searching you and bringing you here. I want to be with you and for that you have to be here.”  
“But Axel … “ Another pause. “Lea. He wasn´t too happy to see me and about your plan to bring me to this place and I guess the others won´t be happy as well. After all I´ve done, stealing all for their hearts and making them nobodies. I understand if they can never forgive me.”  
Saix shook his head. „They´ll have to get used to it. You won´t disappear and I won´t let them bother you.”  
A bitter smile on Xemnas lips. “I know you are strong, Isa, but even you can´t take them all at one time. And I don´t want this to be about me. Everyone in this world will hate me.“  
„Would it change something if we … could travel through the worlds? And this worlds would be our base only?” asked Saix and he seemed determined.   
“You know as well as I do that we are no more able to travel through the darkness.”  
“But that might be unnecessary. You once told me that all of us had what it takes to be a keyblade wielder. Lea already got one and … If I could do it, we are able to travel to other worlds. Visiting places where no one knows us. Noone would hate us. And this place,“ He pointed into the room. „Will be the place we return to. Once we need time to rest and where it will be just us.“  
For a moment Xemnas seemed to be impressed. “You … want to learn how to wield a keyblade, Isa?”  
“I´d learn it.“ Said man replied.   
„You are even more fascinating as a human, than as a nobody.“  
“We will travel Xemnas. Together. That´s a promise.“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost at 10%!


	10. 10. Innocence

Saix did the same things as every day. Collecting the reports for Xemnas, sorting them and checking the results. He had told Xemnas about the missions and for this day his superior seemed pleased with their progress. They were far from their goal, but it has been little time since Saix got this task and the knowledge of Xemnas being pleased with his work was hope. He was getting closer and that was all his plan with Axel was about. Getting closer, gaining Xemnas trust. And he wouldn´t want to destroy that trust carelessly. He had been working too hard.

“That was all, Superior. I´ll go back to my room now.“  
Saix was waiting a moment for Xemnas to give him permissions to leave. But today something was different.   
“Wait a moment, there is something I want to talk about with you.” Xemnas said instead and stood up, before getting closer to Saix. Almost too close.   
“Is there a problem?” Saix asked and he watched every movement. Xemnas seemed to be pleased so why wasn´t he allowed to leave?  
“You are special, Saix.” Xemnas was still close to him. „Since I gave the organisation of the missions into your hands, the results have improved. Yet, you didn’t ask of any favour. Unlike the others, which would´ve bothered me with plenty of wishes.”  
Saix remained calm, as if this wasn´t strange. “I am doing my work. It´s not neccessary to…“  
„Better than anyone else.“ Xemnas interrupted and Saix gave him a questioning look.   
“I just want you to be pleased, Superior.” Empty words.   
“Is that it, Saix?” Something in Xemnas tone had changed. Almost lurking. “Tell me, what else would you do to please your Superior?”  
Saix waited for only a moment. “I´d do whatever you want me to do.”  
„Even if it´s not related to the work at all?  
“Whatever it is. Mission is mission.”  
A light laugh. „You are indeed fascinating.“ Xemnas lifted his hand, caressing Saix cheek. An unfamiliar touch. Strange, yet not unpleasing.  
„What do you want me to do?“ Saix voice was clear, no sign of insecurity.   
“Maybe I search for company? Without a heart one would be lonely.“ None of these words were honest.   
„Which kind of company? I´m not really good at being a friend.“ Saix replied. Even with a heart his only friend had been Lea.   
“I´ve got no use for friends.” Xemnas replied immediately. „I was thinking about physical company. My question for you Saix” and this time he spoke his name in a different tone, “what if I wanted your company in bed?”  
Saix kept quiet for a moment, but his face was calm and cold as ever.   
“I´d keep you company.“ He replied. Still watching Xemnas.  
„In that case…“ One gesture with his hand and a portal appeared in the room, „… I want your company now. Please, go ahead, Saix.”   
On Xemnas lips formed a slight smirk as Saix went through the portal without hesitation. If this evening was coming close to his expectations, Saix would get another task in future. A more private one. But regardless of that, in this night, he would loose his innocence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I did a thing, have you already noticed?   
If not got back to the other chapters and look at the last word of every chapter =)
> 
> Thanks for reading so far! We´ve got 90 drabbles to share love for XemSai <3


	11. 11. Moonlight

Saix noticed a certain restlessness as he waited on the training square. Kingdom Hearts was shining, spending some light. If he had been able to feel Saix would´ve guessed he was nervous, but since he couldn´t feel he was irritated.   
It wouldn´t get better as a portal opened closeby and Xemnas was walking out.  
“Ah, you are already here, Number 7.”  
The portal vanished and Xemnas watched him attentively. He had let him wait purposely, but Saix didn´t seem to care.   
“You wanted me to come here.” He replied instead.   
Xemnas seemed to be disappointed for a moment.   
„Fine. I know you´re giving out training plans for the others. You let them train with each other to improve their abilities. Yet you are not part of that.”  
Saix remained quiet, thinking.   
„That … is impossible.“ He said. „The berserk-mode is too dangerous.“  
„Are you telling me, that you are too strong?“ Xemnas seemed almost amused.   
“That´s not correct.“ Saix disagreed. „But I´m not yet able to control it. I can´t stop if it´s getting dangerous.“   
„That´s why you will be training with me from today.”  
Saix was surprised. “But … Superior …”  
„No more excuses, Saix.“ Xemnas summoned his ethereal blades. „I´m not holding back.“   
Saix had just enough time to summon his Claymore, as Xemnas already attacked him. He got up his Claymore to block the strike. A sharp sound as the blade hit the claymore. A quiet gasp as the second blade touched Saix leg. Xemnas could´ve hurt him. The cuts in the dark fabric were a pure warning to not hold back. 

“Concentrate.”   
Saix jumped back as Xemnas attacked him another time. It was hard to avoid and block the following attacks. Xemnas was really fast and it was hard for Saix to change from defense into offensive. Plus he couldn´t risk to hurt his superior. Instead he tried to avoid damage, risiking the hits that Xemnas landed. His robe had multiple cuts as well as the skin underneath. But he wouldn´t give a sound of pain. 

„Saix. At least try!“ Another strong hit almost swept him from his feet. “We will not stop before you let go!”  
The pain got worse and finally he gave in to his superiors wishes. He let his instinct take over. In the same moment when his eyes started to glow yellow, his mind went blank. He could feel his body moving, as he himself started to attack. He could feel the light of Kingdom Hearts giving him more strength, but everything else seemed to vanish. He could only see the light, couldn´t even hear his own breathing and even though his hand was still closed around the grip of his claymore, he couldn´t feel it. Even the pain disappeared. As if another being had taken over his body. 

But just a few moments later the light would vanish and he could only see darkness. For a moment he could feel his body falling. His Claymore disappeared and his wrecked body remained on the floor. Only enlightend by the moonlight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep going!  
Once I pause I tend to stop. So I´m trying to continue every day!


	12. 12. Whisper

Xemnas had summoned him again. These days he ordered him to come more often, sometimes Saix was sure it was almost every day. Both of them had their benefit of this arrangement. Saix was able to get an even more special position in the organisation, closer to Xemnas, making sure he was the first to get new information. Xemnas on the other hand was more interested in his body and had his pleasure while having sex. Did Saix like it? He tried to avoid that question. Was he disappointed if Xemnas didn´t summon him? If he was honest, he would´ve to say that he liked it. The way Xemnas looked at him once they were alone. The feeling of his cold hands on his body. The way he kissed him. Even if Saix was merely thinking about Sex, he was almost excited. He shook his head in an attempt to clear his head. Nobodies couldn´t feel and whatever it was – it had to be a mixture of memory from their former life and expectation of how it should be. And of course instinct. Even if they didn´t have feelings, they still had their senses. 

Once he had entered Xemnas rooms Saix opened his coat and undressed. He didn´t wait for Xemnas to order him. The last days Xemnas had summoned him every day to sleep with him and send him away. It would be the same for today. The coat was followed by a pair of gloves and boots. Xemnas was sitting on the couch, silently watching while his subordinate undressed in front of him. As Saix had lost his trousers and was completely naked, he finally talked.  
“Come here, Saix.”  
His tone made sure that this wasn´t a wish, but an order. And Saix obediently followed. Within a few steps he arrived at the couch and his superior made sure to place him the way he wanted. Saix was now sitting on his lap. His back pressed against Xemnas while said man caressed the sides of his body. Saix notived that Xemnas was still wearing his leather gloves which was unusal and in that moment he was sure that something was different. His superior had a plan.  
„A beautiful view, isn´t it?“ Xemnas whispered and his voice was way too close to Saix ear.  
The view? Which view was he talking about? Through the glas windows it was possible to look at Kingdom Hearts and the moonlight was soothing Saix. But the glas also mirrored the scene inside of the room. It was almost as good as a real mirror and even though Saix looked away quickly, he wouldn´t get the picture out of his mind.  
“Do you like it?” Xemnas asked with a quiet voice and gave a short kiss onto Saix ear. “Remove my gloves.”  
Saix did as he was asked but he didn´t ask the question.  
“You aren´t talking to much. We should work on that.“ Xemnas lightly bit into the pointy ear and Saix shuddered. At the same time his hand slid in between Saix leg. Caressing him their, striking him.  
„Xemnas.“ Saix moaned and his body showed the lust he was feeling.  
„Tell me Saix, how can I get you to talk more.” The touch was getting more intense and it was harder for Saix to just sit their without moving. “I want to hear all those dirty things out of your mouth. Things you´d never say. So I´d be the only one to ever hear them.“  
“But Xemnas … I … “  
It was getting hard for Saix to form clear sentences. It was hard to think as the lust was clouding his mind.  
“I will keep you for this night, Saix. You are not allowed to leave. And we will have to nice talk later on. I´ll make sure you will talk.”  
Saix wasn´t sure if this was a promise or a warning. Both within one whisper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised you are getting another one!
> 
> I´ll try to finish the list in this year, which means I´ve got about 62 days for 88 drabbles. We will see if I can do that.  
But I´ve got some ideas for a modern AU XemSai and I´d really love to write that in the new year. Plus I´ve still got my other unfinished XemSai fanfiction. 
> 
> What is time? I´d just write XemSai all day if I got the time. Which one would you prefer?  
Thanks for reading as always!
> 
> And a lot of thanks to the people writing comments! (I got so excited over a comment that I´ve dropped my mobile phone) and to the people giving kudos <3
> 
> Oh and if any of you are drawing. Leave me a link to your XemSai stuff. I love them so much but I can't draw :(


	13. 13. Jealousy

Several weeks had passed since Saix had been called to Xemnas room. From that time on he barely had contact with Xemnas. At the morning he got the missions for the day and at the evening he reported the outcome. That was all. Xemnas hadn´t spoken to him in a personal matter in all that time, but he had talked to a lot of the other members. Saix had worked hard to get this special position of power, to be able to know all the plans and get all the information. For a certain time he had been the only one Xemnas had talked to on a daily basis. But that had changed and he didn´t know why. He was sure he hasn´t made any mistakes. Even though he was kinda angry that his power had been cut. 

Some of his dutys hadn´t changed. He was still in charge of coordinating the missions and the dusks, but he didn´t know what Xemnas talked about when other members visited. He even had to wait in front of Xemnas office until they had finished and Xemnas wouldn´t tell him about the topics. Even if he asked.   
Especially Xigbar, Vexen and Marluxia had a lot of meetings with their superior. All of the rivals that could easily take over his dutys. A dangerous developement. He would´ve tob e careful. But in the end it wasn´t in his hands. If Xemnas commanded him to get someone, Saix would obey and get that nobody for him. Even if he hated it. 

Today he had to wait again. He didn´t even know who was in their, why or how long that would take. He was just standing around on the floor, holding his clipboard and waiting. After a while he leaned against the wall, watching the door. He once tried to eavesdrop but it was impossible through the heavy doors in the castle.   
It seemed like an eternity until the door opened and Marluxia came out of the office. Saix watched him carefully. He looked a little worn-out, his hair messed up more than usually, slightly out of breath and his coat was slightly opened at the top. Saix eyes narrowed. That would´ve to be the same look he had when leaving Xemnas office once … was that possible…?

“Lord Xemnas is waiting for you.” Marluxia said, then he walked down the floor, not even waiting for a reply.  
Saix tried to look firm, lifted his head and walked in. He wouldn´t let him know. Whatever had happened in this room. But a short look on Xemnas made clear that this wouldn´t work. Saix was angry. Xemnas had shared his time with others but he wouldn´t spend it with him. And the slim smile on Xemnas lips made clear that he knew. 

“Xemnas … the reports.” Saix said plainly. It was almost rude considering his usual behaviour. Then he gave his clipboard into Xemnas hands, waiting to be dismissed.   
Xemnas kept silent. Looking through the reports with patience. Then he looked back to Saix.   
„You seem tense. Is there a problem, Saix?“ Xemnas eyes had an almost playful glance for a second.   
Said man tried to remain calm. “No, Superior.” His words were more of a grit.   
Xemnas seemed to be amused. „Saix. Could it be that you are jealous?“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My health is a little bad lately, but I try to update on a regular basis.


	14. 14. Work

Saix handed the reports to his superior as always but he realized that Xemnas mood was rather bad. Usually he´d look through those reports carefully to know what happened. But today he only glanced over and put them to the side. Saix hestitated for a moment, then he walked over to the side of his desk. His fingers wandered over Xemnas hands.   
“You look tense, superior.” Saix said and his touch was almost gentle. „I could help you to relax a little.“  
Xemnas lifted his eyes almost immediately and his eyes had a slight sparkle.   
“What are you thinking about, Saix?”  
He didn´t pull his hand away which reassured Saix in his plan. The slender fingers brushed over the back of his hand and his wrist until he put them on his lips.  
“You already know that.” Saix said with a slim smile and with that words he got on his knees in front of Xemnas. “Or don´t you want it?”  
Xemnas was silent for a moment. „Relax me, Saix.“  
Another small smile appeared on Saix lips as he unbottened Xemnas pants. He freed him from all that unnecessary fabric and leaned closer. He started with his tongue until he took the tip into his mouth. Carefully sucking and licking. He knew Xemnas would enjoy it and he would make use of that as well. Saix used lips and tongue to give pleasure to his superior and finally took him all in. 

At first Xemnas had plainly watched him. Carefully brushed over his hair. As Saix got more intense, his hands tangled into the soft strands of blue hair. A low moan escaped his mouth and he leaned back his head, giving into the pleasure.   
Saix was good. And he was getting better with every time.   
Xemnas grip was getting tigher as he came closer to his climax. Now he was the one determining the speed and intensity. Saix didn´t even resist but followed the silent order. Xemnas noticed how close he was to that feeling. He was almost there. The feeling in reach and he got to grab it. Satisfaction. After a second the feeling had already vanished, but it had felt good. He loosened his grip on Saix hair and allowed him to part. As Xemnas examined his face he noticed the light red color on his cheeks. Saix was still out of breath. 

Meanwhile Saix noticed the satisfied look on Xemnas face and for a moment he was sure that he had achieved his goal. But he remained catious.   
“Are you feeling better, Superior?” he asked. His eyes on Xemnas face. But he didn´t answer. At least in no words, but Saix knew what that meant.   
“Good.“ Saix said and turned around to face the desk. Then he took off his coat. As he was about to open his pants, he could feel Xemnas behind him, his hands at his waist and he let him to the work. As his pants were lowered he bend over the desk. 

Xemnas was impatient but Saix hadn´t expected him to take time as they still were in his office. The sex was intense but short. Both of them reached their climax and as they dressed up everything was silent. Xemnas mood seemed way better.   
„I´m going to do my duties now, Superior.“   
Xemnas gave him a pleased nod, an allowance to leave. Then he shifted his attention to the reports.   
It was time to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait!   
Real life struck hard. And I couldn´t get myself to write.   
Making up with some smut. I hope you liked it. 
> 
> Which kinds of drabbles do you prefer?   
Fluff, Drama, Humor, Smut? Anything else?

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
